<========== 40 WAYS THAT MY MOM PISSES ME OFF ==========> (an essay by haddox) 01. SHE DOESN'T DO MY LAUNDRY 02. SHE DOESN'T MAKE MY BED 03. SOMETIMES SHE COOKS THINGS THAT I DON'T LIKE 04. SHE DOESN'T DO MY TAXES FOR ME 05. SHE'S ALWAYS THREATENING TO CHARGE ME RENT FOR LIVING AT HOME 06. SHE'S STILL MARRIED TO MY DAD EVEN THOUGH HE'S A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG 07. I DIDN'T GET ENOUGH CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WHEN I WAS TEN 08. I DIDN'T GET ENOUGH CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WHEN I WAS ELEVEN 09. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW AWESOME I AM 10. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW AWESOME KORN IS 11. SHE GOES THROUGH MY ROOM WHEN I'M NOT HOME 12. SHE DOESN'T EVEN CLEAN MY ROOM WHEN SHE'S IN THERE SNOOPING 13. SHE THREW OUT MY PORNO MAGS 14. SHE TOLD MY GRANDPARENTS SHE FOUND PORNO MAGS IN MY ROOM 15. SHE HATES BLACK PEOPLE 16. HER MIDDLE NAME IS AMELIA 17. SHE LISTENS TO BARRY MANILOW 18. HER HAIR IS STUPID 19. SHE RESTRICTED MY AOL ACCOUNT 20. SHE DRINKS CHEAP WINE 21. SHE LISTENS TO A.M. RADIO 22. SHE'S STILL MARRIED TO MY DAD EVEN THOUGH HE'S A DRUNK LOSER 23. HER FRIENDS ARE ALL UGLY 24. HER FRIENDS' DAUGHTERS ARE ALL UGLY 25. SHE'S NEVER HAD A MARTINI 26. SHE'S NEVER HAD AN ABORTION 27. SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO ZANGIEF AND M. BISON ARE 28. SHE'S NEVER SEEN ENTER THE DRAGON 29. SHE GAVE AWAY MY DOG WHILE I WAS AT SUMMER CAMP 30. SHE THINKS LUTHERANS ARE NICE PEOPLE 31. SHE LIKES KATIE COURIC 32. SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO SINGS ENTER SANDMAN 33. SHE WATCHES NYPD BLUE 34. SHE HATES MONTY PYTHON 35. I DIDN'T GET ENOUGH CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WHEN I WAS SEVEN 36. SHE HAS A STUPID ACCENT 37. SHE DRINKS TAB 38. SHE BROKE MY NINTENDO WHILE TRYING TO DUST IT 39. SHE SENT ME TO A THERAPIST 40. SHE GOT REALLY MAD WHEN I GOT THIS ONE GIRL PREGNANT ©2002 Charles Milles Haddox