Who is a better person: George W. Bush or Jesus Christ?
An objective analysis.
I fucking hate the internet. Because of the internet, any fuckhead with a Caps Lock key and poor grammar skills can post an opinion and have it validated by other equally clueless people. It is breeding a culture of barely educated, completely gullible morons. This is particularly evident in political discourse. You can't have an intelligent political discussion in an open online forum because eventually a music performance major from some no-name college will show up and start screaming that "BUSH = HITTLER" over and over again. If Mr. Music Major is feeling particularly clever, the post might be accompanied by a photoshopped picture of Bush that he stole from a blog somewhere. Here's an excerpt from an actual anti-Bush rant on a message board:
EVERYTHING BUSH SAYS IS A LIE
HE IS JUST CONSTANTLY SAYING WHAT HE HAS TO SAY TO ANOUNCE THE NEXT AGEND OF THE COUNTRY
WHAT IS THAT?
I DONT KNOW
THE PRESIDENT DOESNT KNOW
HE KNOWS MORE THAN US BUT ITS JSUT LIES
This is a rather typical diatribe and it's a great illustration of why I will never ever support a liberal platform. I don't agree with a lot of things that the conservatives do, but at least their blindly devoted followers can fucking spell properly. I'm incredibly sick of glib comparisons between George Bush and Adolf Hitler. Bush isn't Hitler; Bush's leadership skills are so mediocre that he can't even get his Social Security reform passed but his harshest critics like to compare him to a man who tried to conquer the world and exterminate an entire race of people. Please. We should be comparing President Bush to Hispanic people because he's lazy and he lives in Texas. Or better yet, let's compare him to Jesus.
|The son of a U.S. president.||The son of God.|
|May not believe in evolution.||Never even heard of evolution.|
|Promotes tax cuts.||Hangs out with tax collectors.|
|Kinda sorta served in the Air National Guard.||Died for what he believed in.|
|Raised Dick Cheney from the dead.||Raised Lazarus from the dead.|
|Overcame alcohol abuse.||Liked to turn water into wine.|
|A significant portion of his life is mysteriously undocumented.||A significant portion of his life is mysteriously undocumented.|
|Hangs around with statesmen, celebrities, and the power elite.||Hung out with prostitutes.|
|Is a strong supporter of the Israeli state.||Is King of the Jews.|
|Conservatives believe every word he says.||Conservatives distort his words to fit their own goals.|
Bush wins 7-4. There you have it, George W. Bush is better than Jesus.
994,889 People agree: this analysis is rational and reasonable.
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© 2006 by Haddox