On July 10, 2006, 38-year-old Milena Del Valle was killed in Boston when part of a traffic tunnel COLLASPED ON HER FUCKING CAR. The tunnel was part of The Big Dig, Boston's disastrously expensive, poorly built highway project. By the time this steaming pile of shit was completed in 2003, it had cost $14.6 billion, roughly 584% of the $2.5 billion that taxpayers were told it would cost when the project was greenlit in 1985. Since this project used massive federal funds in addition to Massachusetts state funds, all Americans should be furious with this fucking train wreck. In 1987, Ronald Reagan vetoed a bill from Congress approving the use of federal funds on the Big Dig, citing that the project was too expensive. Congress overrode the veto, thus starting a project that would be marked by corrupt contractors, lazy union workers, shoddy construction work, and alleged mob ties. The Big Dig should be a wake-up call to America and that wake-up call should sound something like this: ROAD WORK IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. Here are some of the key features of federally funded construction projects:

• Cost overruns.

• Too many workers doing too little work.

• Cheaper building materials used in place of specified ones.

• Months and months of closed lanes, blocked exits, detours, and impeded traffic.

• Failure to meet self-imposed deadlines.

This shit has been going on for years and no one fucking does anything about it. Luckily, I have devised a simple plan that would finally put an end to this crap. But to understand it, first you have to understand how the system works. See, a company doesn't just magically get a contract from the government to build or repair a road, they have to submit a bid that says how much the project will cost and how long it will take. Several companies will go after the same contract, so it is not unusual for a company to intentionally lie about how much money a project will cost so that they will win the contract. And then when it costs more money and takes more time than they said, THEY FUCKING GET AWAY WITH IT. A contract is a legal agreement and when one party fails to hold up its end of the contract, that party can and should be held responsible. If a contractor told you that he could build you a house for $250,000 and it ended up costing $750,000, you would fucking sue. And yet, when a contractor pulls the same shit on state or federal government, there are never serious repercussions. Here's what I propose: if contractors experience cost overruns of more than 10% on a project, then the contractors should have to pay the rest of it out of their own fucking pocket. Hey, it's their fault for providing such a shitty estimate. And if the contractors don't complete the project within a timeframe that's reasonably close to the promised deadline, then fines should be levied against them. Massive fines. Actually, I have a better idea. The other day when I was driving down the street, I saw an orange sign that said END ROAD WORK. If I ever run for political office, that's going to be my platform. Road work costs way more money than it's fucking worth.

1,089,965 people would rather hit the occasional pothole than deal with all this bullshit.


Back to how much I rule...

2006 by Haddox