Contact information: *Note: I receive an overwhelming amount of email from people who are of little consequence. If you are from the media or if you have something that requires an immediate or time-dated response, please refer to one of the following:

1. If you are from the media
If you're from the media and you want to offer me a television contract or something, type "media" in the subject line of your email or use the following link:

2. If you need to get a hold of me urgently or you require a response:
Too fucking bad.


How did this site start? How do you promote your site?

This site started out as a text document containing a list of 40 ways that my mom pissed me off. I circulated it to people on DALnet #musicvideos a long time ago, they liked it, so I started a website. I don't promote this site at all; I have an army of retarded fanboys that do it for me.

How many people write for your site?

Just me, dipshit. Do you see anyone else credited anywhere on the fucking site?

I have a great idea for an article...

No you don't. Don't bullshit me. You can't write for my fucking site and I'm not going use your stupid idea. Go cry about it in your Xanga.


Some people seem to think that the picture in my banner looks like Grampa's Flying Hellfish tattoo from a classic episode of "The Simpsons". Personally, I don't see the resemblance. That is Old Kentucky Shark and he has been there.

I sent you an email, too good to reply?

Yes. If there's one thing you should have learned from my site, it's that I'm a total prick.

Is it all right if I link to your website?

Well I can't really stop you from linking to my site, now can I? But since you felt compelled to ask such a stupidass question, I'd prefer if you didn't.

Why does your site look so shitty? / Why do you use such huge fonts?

That's an unfortunate side effect of my source material. You can't polish a turd.

Your site is a complete rip-off of Thilo's Ninja Pirate site. Why did you make it?

Why not?

How often do you update your page?

I generally try not to, but that doesn't stop you asshats from checking for updates every fucking hour.

Hey did you know that something is wrong with your page counters? Sometimes the numbers go down instead of up. You should check it out...

Oh my god, really? Shit, I better get right on that!

What program(s) do you use to make your site?

All the source is written using Dreamweaver in Windows. All the images were made using Paint in Windows. All the file conversions (bmp to jpg) are done with IrfanView.

I love [insert-image-here], can I use it on my page?

You can try.

Has your site ever received an award?

No, but once I received a threatening email from Thilo:

I rule.

I probably should have done some better research before sending him that first reply, but fuck that. Research is for losers.

Do you take donations?

Yes I do. But since I'm a pirate, I will only accept money if it's in the form of gold doubloons. If you can't get find those, you could always buy me some Russian brides so I can finally start my prostitution ring.

That's it for now. If you want to see something that I didn't cover here, ask: haddox@sydlexia.com.

2,122,354 people still think my counters are broken.


Back to how much I rule...