8 reasons why it's time to forgive Mel Gibson.

Hollywood is a fickle place. When it wants to, it can forgive and forget. Robert Downey Jr. and Charlie Sheen can fuck up as many times as they want, but they'll keep getting work. Roman Polanski had sex with a thirteen-year-old girl and fled the United States to avoid prosecution, but that didn't deter Hollywood from presenting him with its highest award. They forgive philanderers. They forgive druggies. They forgive people who get caught picking up transvestite prostitutes. And yet, no one in Hollywood wants to forgive Mel Gibson for his drunken anti-Semitic comments. It's not enough that he apologized several times. It's not enough that he checked himself into rehab. It's not enough that Gibson's apology was openly accepted by the Anti-Defamation League and top Jewish leaders. For whatever reason, people in Hollywood insist on hating on Mel Gibson. Maybe it's because he made a ridiculously successful movie about Jesus without the blessing or aid of Hollywood, I don't know for sure. What I do know is that people everywhere need to be reminded of just who the fuck Mel Gibson is and why they used to like him. Here are eight solid reasons why it's time to forgive Mel Gibson:

8. Pocahontas
It may have been a gayass Disney movie with talking trees and borings songs, but Mel taught us a valuable lesson as the voice of John Smith: interracial love is hot. Really, really fucking hot.

7. Ransom
Say it with me... GIVE ME BACK MY SON!

6. The Simpsons, Episode 227: Beyond Blunderdome
Once upon a time, The Simpsons was the funniest cartoon in primetime. Hell, it was more than that: it was the funniest fucking show on TV. That era has ended, but the legacy and influence of The Simpsons are undeniable and the show is still pretty funny on occasion. And in a show where celebrity cameos were often cheesy and unnecessary, Mel Gibson's appearance was anything but. Homer and Mel's remake of Mr. Smith Goes To Washington still stands as one of the show's funniest moments; seeing Mel Gibson murder a man with the American flag was fucking great. Mel would later reuse that move, without a shred of irony, in The Patriot. I vote we impose some serious term limits. All in favor, say DIE!

5. Payback
If you owe money to Mel Gibson, you can be damned sure he's going to get it back in full, even if he has to kill you and everyone you know to fucking get it.

4. The Road Warrior
In a world not unlike our own, Mel Gibson beats the shit out of a bunch of cosplay fucktards and hooks up his friends with one of the most expensive and useful commodities on Earth: gasoline.

3. Lethal Weapon
In Lethal Weapon, Mel managed to succeed where so many other have failed: he killed Gary Busey. For this, I salute him. He also taught us that when white people and black people team up, they're fucking unstoppable. Also, there was some crap in there about Christmas and not killing yourself.

2. Apocalypto
Mel's not just an awesome actor, he's also a talented director. His latest directorial project? A movie about a bunch of crazy ass Mayans obsessed with ritual human sacrifice. It's super fucking violent and super fucking awesome. If that doesn't pique your interest, go fuck your mother. You probably do it anyway.

1. Lethal Weapon 2
In Lethal Weapon 2, Mel Gibson took his fight against racism to the next level by single-handedly ending the South African apartheid. He also fucked up a house, killed a shitload of bad guys, and nailed some hot blonde chick, all while managing not to punch Joe Pesci in the face.

Now shut the fuck up and go watch Braveheart.

1,929,841 people know Mel Gibson fucking rules.


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© 2006 by Haddox