Stop raping children.

It seems that these days you can't turn on the fucking news or Law & Order: Special Victims Unit or even A Time To Kill without seeing some horrible story about children getting raped. Child rape is fucking disgusting and if there was a cheap, simple test out there that could tell you which people have the "I like to rape children gene", I'm fairly confident that the American government could systematically execute those people with the support about 90% of the American public. (Statistics show that roughly 5% of Americans are child rapists, while Michael Moore's body mass comprises another five.) But sadly, no such test exists. Until now. According to a study done by top researchers at Yale, child rapists hate the music of legendary rock band AC/DC. A chart detailing their findings can be seen below.

According to the study, people whose self-described dislike of AC/DC was 12% or less have virtually no chance of becoming pedophiles. The subjects' desire to commit child rape rose dramatically between AC/DC hatred levels of 13% and 69%, while subjects with an AC/DC hatred level of at least 70% had all raped at least one child. This data is disturbing, to say the least. But it's all reasurring to know that we might finally have a chance to cleanse the world of pedophiles.

So remember, the next time someone tells you that they don't like AC/DC, stab them in the heart. You'll be saving a defenseless child from a lifetime of physical and emotional scars.

1,766,417 people just realized they know a child rapist.

haddox@sydlexia.com

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© 2008 by Haddox