For years, an intense debate has raged on like Bob Dole's dick on Viagra about whether or not God exists. The revered German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once claimed that God is dead. Well I am about to prove that Nietzsche was a total douchebag and that he had no fucking clue what he was talking about. I have irrefutable evidence that God exists and that He loves us all very much. Behold:
Cadbury creme eggs. If you're looking for a viable argument to support intelligent design theory, it's these things. Cadbury creme eggs are a perfect blend of milk chocolate, sugar, corn syrup, egg whites, artificial flavor, and artificial color. So perfect, in fact, that they could only be the result of divine intervention; no mortal man could have created such a flawless candy treat. Cadbury eggs are filled with so much fucking awesomeness that we humans do not deserve to eat them year-round. So God in His infinite wisdom only makes them available to us in months leading up to Easter. And so let us praise the Lord for graciously allowing us to eat His delicious creme-filled chocolate eggs for two months every year. Oh, and thanks for all that shit that went down with your son Jesus dying for all of mankind's sins. That was nice too, I guess.
1,275,004 atheists just changed their minds.
Back to how much I rule...
© 2006 by Haddox