Your dick shouldn't fit inside this.

The following is a list of things your dick shouldn't fit inside. This list is by no means complete.

• a soda bottle
• a pencil sharpener
• a squirrel
• a test tube
• a VCR
• a cat
• the thimble from Monopoly
• a shampoo bottle
• a mail slot
• the mouth of a Furby
• the hole in the middle of a DVD
• the barrel of a gun
• a gallon of milk
• Milton Bradley presents Mr. Bucket
• an ear
• a nose
• a child

If you can get your cock inside any of the following things, congratulations, you have a needle dick! You also have some serious fucking issues for actually trying this shit. Go kill yourself.

1,495,067 people think that a man and a consenting mail slot should be allowed to do whatever they want.

haddox@sydlexia.com

Back to how much I rule...

© 2009 by Haddox