More stupid shit that girls put in their AIM profiles

The premise: girls are fucking stupid, and they constantly advertise their stupidity by putting gay little slogans and quotes they put in their AIM profiles. This is the second part of my ongoing investigative study of girls and their insatiable psychological need to fill their personal profiles with retarded bullshit. The original study can be found here: Stupid shit that girls put in their AIM profiles.

UR lips ARE like VODKA and ~I~ wanna GET u WASTED
That doesn't even fucking make sense. If my lips are like vodka, then you, the dumb fucking bitch who put this in her AIM profile, would get wasted from kissing me, not the other way around. In order for your gay ass simile to make sense, the quote should either be: MY lips ARE like VODKA and ~I~ wanna GET u WASTED or MY lips ARE like VODKA and ~I~ wanna GET wasted. Also, you don't need to fucking capitalize every other fucking word. It's retarded.

ipinkypromise
WHEN WE`RE LiTTLE 0LD LADiES, WE`RE G0NNA
BE BEST FriENDS; SiTTiNG iN tHE NURSiNG H0ME
R0CKiNG iN 0UR *CUTE LiTTLE R0CKiNG CHAiRS*
SAYiNG "REMEMBER WHEN..*JILLIAN i <3 Y0U !!

So what you're fucking saying here is that neither you or your best friend Jillian are ever going to find a man who's fucking dumb enough to marry you, and that even if by some fucking miracle BOTH of you get married, you fully expect those poor fucking bastards to die before you. Also, the only people who end up in nursing homes are people who either don't own houses or don't have enough control over their bodily functions to live by themselves and who don't have any relatives who care enough about them to take them in. So yeah, have a great fucking time in your "cute little rocking chairs", when you're unloved, destitute, and accidentally shitting your pants every few hours.

August 7th = <33333333
JONAS BROTHERS was the best concert i have ever fucking seen <33333333333

If you're old enough to use the F-word, you're old enough to know the Jonas Brothers are fucking gay. Your life is pathetic and empty. Kill yourself.

i LUV mah hubby :)
Guess what, cuntbag? The boy you've been dating for three weeks isn't your fucking "hubby", he's your goddamn boyfriend. You're not married to him, and you never will be. The fact that you refer to him as your husband is a major fucking warning sign that you're way too possessive. As soon as he gets bored of sticking his dick inside you, he's gonna kick you to the curb in favor of someone who isn't totally psychotic.

in every girls life
there is gonna be one boy
that she will never forget
& a summer where it all began<3
Contrary to what the fucking movie Grease wants you to fucking believe, love doesn't always fucking begin in the summer. You can fall in love in spring, fall, or get this, FUCKING WINTER. That's right, the seasons don't dictate your love life, nor do the stars, so stop reading your fucking horoscope. Fucking Christ!

*Me and my girlz* party harder than YOU jerk off
Only a fucking girl would think that's clever. Jerking off hard doesn't feel good. In fact, it's a lot like giving yourself an Indian sunburn on your dick. The trick is to get it lubricated with some baby oil or something, that way your hand moves easily up and down the shaft so that you can jerk off well without jerking off too hard. See sweetheart, this why guys don't want handjobs; you dumb broads don't know how to do it properly. That, and blowjobs are way better.

Maybe some girls aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with.
That's not true. Sooner or later, you've got to fucking grow up and stop going out to the clubs, getting hammered, and grinding up against guys you don't know. If you fail to reach this stage of personal growth and maturity on your own, it will eventually be forced on you. When you reach a certain age, let's say 30, the bouncers aren't gonna let you in anymore because you've turned into one of those self-deluded women that don't realize they're too old for clubs that you used to laugh at back when you were 21. At that point, you're faced with a serious choice: either grow the fuck up or end up a complete fucking train wreck like Courtney Love. That's not to say that if you continue binge drinking and hanging out in bars that you won't find someone "just as wild" as you, because you will. And I hope the both of you are very happy living in the fucking trailer park.

the only people you need in your life
are the ones that need you in theirs.

Wrong! You know who doesn't fucking need you in their life? Your fucking employer. There are thousands of other people out there who can do your fucking job, and your boss doesn't really give a fuck if it's you or someone else as long as the shit that's supposed to get done gets done. You, on the other hand, need your boss in your fucking life, otherwise you don't get fucking paid. And if you don't fucking get paid, you can't pay Verizon, which means your "*girliez~" can't hit up your "celly".

Every girl wants a man that she can go up to in her sweats, hair a mess, make up running down her face, eyes red from crying and the first thing he says to her is "Baby, you're beautiful." and he means it.
Actually, if your eyes were red from crying, I'm pretty sure the first thing you'd want your boyfriend to say is "Hey, you look upset. I would absolutely love to listen to you talk about why you're upset for the next three hours while I hold you gently in my arms." and mean it. You know, unless you're a conceited bitch.

love is being stupid together
You wouldn't say that if you'd ever seen Requiem For A Dream.

Once again, I have come to the horrible conclusion that I really, really hate girls. But once again, they unfortunately still have quite a few body parts that I like. My plan to build a super awesome sex robot failed, so I'll continue to pretend I respect them and shit for as long as I can in order to gain access to those parts. I don't know how long I can keep up the charade though, especially since girls will almost certainly find a way to make themselves ever dumber. They can't help it; it's in their nature.

1,586,900 guys STILL put up with shit like this because they want to get laid.

haddox@sydlexia.com

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© 2008 by Haddox