I am better than dead people.

If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are pretty good that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that were drawn by some dead prick. The pictures are always of some lameass starry night or some gay Sunday afternoon in the park. These pictures totally suck ass; I could draw pictures way better. In fact, I can spell, do math and fuck better than dead people. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of dead people, I've taken it upon myself to judge art work done by various dead people. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

John Lennon, d. 1980
Hey John, did you imagine this pile of dogshit was actually good? To be fair, it does look just like Yoko Ono. F
Edvard Munch, d. 1944
Hey douchebag, I liked this idea better the first time around when it had Macaulay Culkin. Maybe you should have tried to draw something that didn't look like ass. F
Henri Matisse, d. 1954
I've seen better depictions of the female form on bathroom walls. You should try to use more than four colors next time. Oh wait, you're dead. F
Jerry Garcia, d. 1995
Horrible. F
Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, d. 1901
This one wouldn't be too bad if you stayed inside the lines, picked more interesting subject matter, used less caustic colors and begged someone with talent to draw it for you. On one hand I want to give you some points for effort but... F

I win. Next time I'm at a museum, I'm going to do everyone a favor and staple pictures of myself over some of those retarded Andy Warhol paintings.

More crappy dead people's art work:

Crappy art #1 Crappy art #2

1,219,581 dead assholes tried stepping to my 1337 skillz and got PWN3D.

haddox@sydlexia.com

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© 2005 by Haddox