The premise: I can spell, do math and fuck better than dead people. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of dead people, I've taken it upon myself to judge art work done by various dead people. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

Yves Tanguy, d. 1955	What can I possibly say about this fucking train wreck? If I wanted to stare at one big semen stain, I'd fish the May 1987 issue of Playboy out of that special drawer in my desk. F
Paul Gauguin, d. 1903	Hey asshole, Jesus didn't have jaundice and he sure as hell wasn't Chinese. Jesus was white and he loved every minute he spent up on that cross. F
Pablo Picasso, d. 1973	Try using some colors next time. Also why the fuck does that woman look so damn sad? She's doing housework which means she must be married and therefore happy. F
Georges Braque, d. 1963	Oh look, it's the world's shittiest pair of platform shoes. F
Leonardo da Vinci, d. 1519	This shit is beyond weak. If you insist on drawing one of God's most flawed creatures (i.e. woman), you could at least try to make her look nice. Instead you drew a fat chick with no tits and a bad hairline. The worst part is that the bitch has a smug little smile on her face. You're hideous, stop smiling. F

I can't believe how awesome I am. More crappy dead people's art work:

Crappy art #1 Crappy art #2

1,659,498 dead assholes tried stepping to my hardcore skills and got reamed.

haddox@sydlexia.com

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© 2005 by Haddox