New Year's Eve is fucking gay.
(Updated: 12-30-07)

Hey cheerleaders, you're not getting my fucking money.
(Updated: 12-04-07)

Coke vs. water: a Myspace bulletin.
(Updated: 09-29-07)

Everyone at Hillshire Farm is a fucking terrorist.
(Updated: 08-25-07)

Larry Bird's Johnson is dead.
(Updated: 07-12-07)

Iceland will be closed until April 22nd.
(Updated: 04-16-07)

An easy way to ruin internet forums.
(Updated: 03-23-07)

I make songs better.
(Updated: 03-06-07)

88 first person shooters that suck less than Halo 2.
(Updated: 01-11-07)

8 reasons why it's time to forgive Mel Gibson.
(Updated: 12-04-06)

Shame on you, White America.
(Updated: 11-19-06)

There was no JFK assassination you morons.
(Updated: 10-23-06)

NEVER FORGET.
(Updated: 09-11-06)

The following people should not ever be allowed out of their homes.
(Updated: 09-09-06)

Joe Cocker sucks.
(Updated: 08-07-06)

END ROAD WORK.
(Updated: 07-18-06)

Fuck you, I'll eat what I want.
(Updated: 06-24-06)

My plan to save America.
(Updated: 06-10-06)

Learn to fucking speak.
(Updated: 05-30-06)

Amazon.com sucks.
(Updated: 05-10-06)

You damn kids have it too easy.
(Updated: 04-25-06)

Five stupid places where girls get tattoos.
(Updated: 04-20-06)

Barney is dead.
(Updated: 04-02-06)

Serving sizes are bullshit.
(Updated: 03-27-06)

People with muscular dystrophy are pricks.
(Updated: 03-16-06)

Proof that God exists.
(Updated: 03-09-06)

Stupid shit that girls put in their AIM profiles.
(Updated: 03-03-06)

Who is a better person: George W. Bush or Jesus Christ? An objective analysis.
(Updated: 02-26-06)

Run out of ideas for contrived porn sites? Steal one of mine.
(Updated: 02-18-06)

Underage drinking? Try a gay bar.
(Updated: 02-06-06)

Oliver Reed is the greatest man who ever lived.
(Updated: 01-26-06)

More crappy dead people's art work.
(Updated: 01-07-06)

Suck my dick.
(Updated: 12-25-05)

The South should have won the Civil War.
(Updated: 12-08-05)

I am better than dead people.
(Updated: 11-11-05)

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